What to answer to a person who insults you. What can you say to a man and what is important to remember

For every force there is another force. When a person is full of anger and resentment, it is not always possible to remain silent in response to his foul language. Sometimes I want to answer. How to answer without losing your temper and without stooping to the level of your interlocutor?

1. To talk with you on the same level, I need to lie down!..

2. I don't know what you eat for breakfast, but it really works! Intelligence tends to zero!

3. Just don’t take the headphones out of your ears. God forbid you chill your brain from the inside with a draft.

4. Should I see a psychologist? Of course not, Thanks a lot behind useful advice, but you shouldn’t compare everyone to yourself.

5. You will open your mouth at the dentist.

6. To shock me, you will have to say something smart.

7. One more beep from your platform and your teeth will move.

8. So that you celebrate your wedding at McDonald's.

9. If it gave me pleasure to communicate with females, I would have had a dog long ago.

10. Mind like a shell.

11. Looking at you, I begin to understand that nothing human is alien to God. He has a great sense of humor.

12. Talk, talk... I always yawn when I'm interested!

13. You would decorate the world with your absence, before I took sin on my soul!

14. From positive qualities You only have the Rh factor.

15. I live opposite the cemetery. If you show off, you will live opposite me.

16. Is it you that everyone loves? Oh, well, yes, love is evil...

17. So that you could cover yourself with a teaspoon in the bathhouse!

18. - Girl, are you bored? - Not by that much…

19. Your right to your own opinion does not oblige me to listen to nonsense.

20. - you can’t put “thank you” in your pocket. - you will carry it in your hands!!!

21. Hey, you little rose! The tulip is out of here, otherwise you’ll turn gray like a dahlia!

22. I came to you with greetings, with an iron and a gun

24. It is better to be silent intelligently than to speak stupidly

25. Is this a bunch of words, or do I need to think about it?

26. Sorry for not living up to your stereotypes.

27. In some heads thoughts come to die

28. Him: Shall we go to you or shall we go to me?
She: At the same time. You - to yourself, and I - to myself.

29. Has the verbal oil well dried up?

30. Madhouse on the road, psychos in nature!

31. What are you watching? Are you in a museum or something? Now I’ll arrange a cultural event for you in two acts without intermission! If I give you a slap, your head will fly off

32. What do you think, that if you yell at me louder, I will listen more quietly?

33. Now you can take your glasses home from me. In different pockets.

34. Your style of speech reminds me of the market talk of the distant nineties at the end of the last century.

35. And don't laugh! Laughing for no reason is a sign that a person is either an idiot or a pretty girl. If you want to convince me of the latter, first shave.

How to respond in specific situations. Examples!

1. Agree with the person who insults you. Classic:

- Yes, you are a complete fool and an idiot!
- Yes. I have a certificate too! Do you think it’s very smart to prove something to a fool?

- You're just a fool!
- Agree! This is because you constantly have to talk to fools.

– I’m not satisfied with your answers!
– What questions, such answers!

– Yes, I’m smarter than all of you combined!
- Certainly! After all, you are crazy. I wish I had a watchman for this shed...

2. Take a statement directed at you to the point of absurdity:

- Hey, slow down!
– I can’t, there must be only one brake. (It’s impossible, our pair already has one brake!)

- What are you doing?
- I'm doing it in my pants.

– Why are you scamming me now?
– And now who do you consider yourself to be, a bee or a rabbit?

3. Turn a negative statement into a positive one:

- You are a horse!
– If it weren’t for the suckers, where would you be now?

- There are only idiots around!
– Is it unusual for you to feel smart?

– What kind of phone is being grabbed when I’m talking to you?!
- I also prefer to talk with smart people!

4. Press the person “too weakly.” After all, no one likes to feel like a weakling:

– You’re dancing somehow crappy..
– I’m not dancing, I’m just moving my legs so you don’t crush me... (And you know how great I am at cross-stitching!)

-What are you babbling about?
- It’s strange, but others like my speech... Don’t you have a sense of beauty, or have hearing problems?

– Are you pretending to be smart?
– Do you have problems communicating with smart people?

5. What do you want?

- Well, why are you quiet?
– Did you already want to get to the surgeon’s table by this time?

- Well, who is brave here?
“You talk to me like that, as if your subscription to the emergency room is disappearing.”

– You are a simple housewife!
– Would you like me to be a currency prostitute?

We need to fight rudeness! If, when you are rude, you want to cry, then the interlocutor has achieved his goal. I have asserted myself at your expense and been strengthened by a considerable share of your energy! Do not encourage this behavior under any circumstances!

Insult is usually inflicted by words, verbally or writing. It can also be expressed in actions (spitting, hitting, obscene gesture and etc.).

Insults include:

• coarseness;
• rudeness;
• unfounded criticism;
• banter, sarcasm;
• using physical force against the will of another person.

How do we feel when we are insulted?

• Resentment
• Anger
• Disturbance
• Hatred
• Sadness, despondency
• Despair
• Annoyance
• Fear
• Guilt
• Confusion
• Contempt.

A whole set of negative feelings. Each of us is visited by one of them or several at once when we hear insults addressed to us. And these feelings largely determine what our response will be in a given situation. Therefore, their awareness is important in order to learn how to correctly respond to any attacks from others addressed to us.

Why do people insult others and be rude?

1. Dissatisfaction own life . When a person is unhappy, dissatisfied with his own personality, achievements, his environment, etc., he takes out his anger on others. They don’t even always realize why they insult others (both close people and strangers).
2. Characteristics of temperament, strong excitability. Often people can insult someone or commit an offensive act against another person in a fit of anger, when they can no longer control their emotions. This often happens in a quarrel situation. When emotions subside and reason returns, many regret what they said or did and ask for forgiveness.
3. Arrogance. There are people who unreasonably believe that some people around them are lower in status. Respectful and friendly communication is not their strong point.
4. Self-affirmation at the expense of others. By humiliating others, some people feel stronger. Although this is just self-deception. Behind such self-affirmation, as a rule, there is self-doubt and an inferiority complex.
5. Lack of culture and education. If the rules of politeness and tolerance were not instilled in childhood, then in adult life this can result in rudeness and disrespect towards other people. And children, who mostly grew up on the street, were exposed to the unfavorable influence of their environment and became accustomed to communicating unkindly.
6. Insult for the purpose of provocation. This method is resorted to when they want to piss a person off, to show him in a bad light in front of others, to damage his reputation. And all this usually happens in front of eyewitnesses.

Analyzing the reasons for rudeness, we understand that almost always behind it there is self-doubt, many complexes and the offender’s hidden dissatisfaction with himself. Such people deserve nothing but pity. After all, they are deeply unhappy. But unfortunately, when we are suddenly confronted with rudeness and insults, we cannot immediately realize it and remain unperturbed. Most often, we react in some way that is familiar to us, which is not always effective.

Unsuccessful ways to respond to rudeness and insults

1. Insult in response . This is one of the most common reactions to rudeness and rudeness. Of course, such a technique is sometimes justified, and it even happens that you can emerge victorious from the situation. But you still cannot know for sure at what point your offender will stop and whether he will stop at all. Perhaps his resources will last for a long time, but yours are already running out. So is it worth the risk? Moreover, most likely, there will be an unpleasant aftertaste because they were forced to say all sorts of nasty things.
2. Ingratiation, submission of will to the offender . Never allow phrases in the style of: “Yes, I agree with you, this is my shortcoming”, “Sorry for making you nervous with my behavior”, “I don’t like this about myself”, “Okay, I’ll improve” etc. So you completely lose your face and agree to depend on the one who attacks you. It's better to be silent for a while. Although there is a delay, a more worthy answer will definitely be found.
3. Use of physical force . Some people are so offended by the words or actions of others that they are ready to resolve the issue with their fists. But here, you understand, it’s not far from the police.
4. Trying to convince, appeal to a person’s reason. Behind rudeness and rudeness there are always some emotions. First, you need them to calm down, and only then will logic and constructive thinking return. Therefore, it is useless to immediately try to “reason” with the attacker.

These methods are unsuccessful because:

• They require a lot of energy from us, it is emotionally difficult for us in moments of confrontation with the boor.
• We are dissatisfied with ourselves because we could not adequately respond to the insult.
• Situation of rudeness for a long time does not give us peace, we plunge into stress.
• There is a strong desire to take revenge on the offender, we feel hatred towards him.
• There is no feeling of internal rejoicing indicating that we have emerged victorious from the situation.
• Over time, it begins to seem that everyone around is rude and asserts itself at our expense.

Let us not forget that in any interaction with someone, it is not what we say that has the greatest influence on the interlocutor, but how we say it and how we look. When our face turns red with rage, our whole body is tense, our voice is at its maximum volume - the offender feels a personal victory, checking off the fact that he has pissed us off. Or when we withdraw into ourselves, lower our gaze, quietly mutter something and feel that we are about to cry - the boor again rejoices that he managed to suppress us with his pressure.

3 principles that promote successful resistance to rudeness and insults

1. Respect and love yourself. People around you feel your attitude towards them. It is precisely those who are dissatisfied with their own personality who attract rude attacks and insults. And when we are in harmony with ourselves, understand and accept ourselves, then it is much more difficult to “drop” us, to make us angry.

Self-respect and self-love create an invisible but tangible protection from rudeness and rudeness. We advise you to read: .

1. Believe in your strengths, you have them. With your attitude to successfully overcome conflict situations and inner confidence, you attract positive energy and strengthen your personal resources. You will notice that even outwardly you become more impressive and bolder.
2. Allow yourself to be. After all, you can do a lot of things. You have those who make you smile. And there are many pleasant moments around that are worth rejoicing at. It is important to realize that happiness is in our hands and we must accept it.

Happiness is a process, not some distant goal.

These are your three pillars inner harmony and success in relationships with others.

How to respond to rudeness

Task No. 1 is to monitor your behavior at the moment of “collision” and learn to at least outwardly demonstrate self-confidence and equanimity when this happens.

1. Ignore the rudeness, remain silent. Quite often this can discourage your opponent. After all, he is counting on you to be indignant, to be nervous, to enter into an argument with him. And if this does not happen, then his further attacks are meaningless, and the offender can quickly calm down. In addition, you will preserve your emotions and health. We recommend reading:
   

   Don't think that you look weak at this moment. Feel your inner strength and superiority, and those around you will feel it.

2. Verbalization of feelings. Rudeness is usually associated with the experience of various negative emotions. Most often it manifests itself without mind control. It is important to voice these emotions.
   - a) To direct the offender to awareness of his feelings, you can tell him: “Are you upset?” or “I understand that you are outraged by this”.
   - b) Communicate your feelings: "I hate it when you say that". It is important to use the “I-statement” in this case.

Usually this method allows you to reduce the pressure of the rude person and slow down his offensive expressions.

1. Ask a Question. If the situation has not yet gotten out of control, and the person has allowed himself to be a little rude, you can ask the question: “Why are you telling me this?” or “Why are you acting like this?” This tactic is effective only in relationships with close people and friends.
2. Gather all your inner strength and respond without words using external signals, for example, by looking deeply into the eyes of the interlocutor for several seconds.
3. If the situation allows, then you can simply stop communicating with the rude person. Example phrase: “Such communication is unpleasant for me, and I am forced to this moment stop it!” Say this firmly and leave or hang up if the conversation was conducted over the phone. Often the offender cools down after such words, apologizes and asks to continue the conversation.

How to respond to insults

The response methods listed above will also be appropriate in situations where you are insulted. Here are a few more options for effective answers.

1. Feel pity for the offender. As we have already found out, those who insult others are unhappy people, dissatisfied with themselves first and foremost. If your interlocutor speaks negatively about you, mentally feel sorry for him and feel how aggression and anger towards him decreases. After all, why be annoyed when he is so pitiful and unhappy? You won’t even want to waste your precious energy on this person.
2. Let's use our imagination. To make the image of the offender even more pathetic, use the visualization technique. At the moment when he spews his insults, imagine him in some ridiculous form (a clown, a midget, a cockroach, a bug, in a funny headdress, etc.) You can also mentally fence off your opponent with a glass wall: you see him, but that’s all what he says cannot penetrate your side.
3. Can respond to insults nicely. For example, thank you for attention to your person: “Thank you for your interest in me”. Or if you hear insults from a friend, you can answer him with a smile: “I’m crazy about you too!” or “Your statements will not stop me from loving you!”
4. Make the offender accountable for his words. Ask for examples to support the criticism leveled at you. You can tell him: “How exactly does this manifest itself?” or “Prove that I...”
5. You can answer your opponent with smart words. Clarifying questions often help to interrupt the endless stream of insults. For example: “What do you want from me?”, “Do you have anything to suggest?” Usually these phrases confuse the offender.
6. Humor can also work in your favor in this case. The ability to respond wittily is always a good defense weapon.
   Examples: “But from now on, I’ll ask you for more details, please,” “Listen, how do you manage to come up with nasty things so quickly? Or have you been preparing all night?”, “It’s really very hot here - your brain is already boiling!”
7. Call to conscience. You can openly ask your interlocutor: “How would you respond if you were insulted like that?” This will discourage him and turn his thoughts in a constructive direction.

All answers must be pronounced calmly and confidently. You can do this either seriously or with a smile (depending on the situation and type of reaction). Try to look your opponent straight in the eyes. This is an indicator of your courage.

How to respond to rudeness - example phrases

If we differentiate between rudeness, insults, and rudeness, then the latter most often comes from strangers, unfamiliar people, or people who are not particularly significant to us. Therefore, we must always have this attitude: everything that is said by those with whom we have no relationship should not make us angry.

Feeling pity for a boor or presenting him in a funny way, as in previous cases, is also effective techniques to cope with one's own negative emotions at the moment of a psychological attack.

The main rule is to never stoop to the level of a boor and not to use his own methods in response.

1. Ignoring fits perfectly in this case. You don’t have to look at the offender at all (he is an empty place). Mentally imagine yourself, for example, as a stone or a mighty oak tree, the stability of which cannot be broken.
2. Don't take everything said personally. After all, quite often it turns out that you simply fell under “ hot hand” (or rather, under the “hot” language) boor. And he, in turn, is angry at the whole world and his life, in particular. But he expresses anger in such an uncivilized way. All that remains is to feel sorry for this unfortunate boor and sympathize with him.
3. Reduce the significance of what was said. For example: “Do you really think I care about your opinion?” or “Probably a very valuable point, but I’m purple!”
4. Smile. A smile will strengthen your internal resources and cause bewilderment in the boor.
5. It would be appropriate answer funny and sarcastically. This will defuse the situation and give you the opportunity to become the master of the situation. “You must have felt a lot better! Congratulations!" or “The public is delighted! You work for her, right?”
6. Direct question: “You are being rude to me. Do you want to hurt me or do you have another goal?
7. You can make the offender think twice: “Be careful in your expressions. They say that everything said can come back to you in double size.”.
8. A cheeky answer. For example: “You are unoriginal, next time come up with something better.”.
9. Rate the offender: “Rudeness does not suit you,” “I hope that rudeness is just your mask, and in fact you are better.”
10. Let go in peace:“Don’t worry, and happiness will come to you. Less negativity - and everything will get better!”

It is important not only to prepare for situations of rudeness and be able to correctly respond to rudeness and insults, but also in general to pay attention to your approach to life and, if necessary, change it. Be positive in everything and don’t expect “kicks” from life and those around you. Value and love yourself, and other people will treat you the same. Don’t take everything too seriously, because it is one thing. Better let it beat at full strength, enjoy life and breathe deeply!

How to properly respond to insults

Useful articles:

When faced with rudeness, you always want to respond to the offender. In a fit of anger, we often do not control our feelings and emotions. This can cause a number of negative consequences. The simplest outcome of them is a quarrel, and the most negative is a fight. But, you must admit, to suffer yourself and humiliate yourself to assault just because your interlocutor is in a bad mood is, at the very least, stupid.

The most correct thing in such a situation is to answer the offender calmly and confidently, but in such a way as to put the boor in his place. To do this tactfully, without wasting extra effort and energy, there are special blanks- daring phrases.

Who is this boor?

This is an aggressor who attacks and violates your personal boundaries. He tries to hurt the most painful places and at the same time avoid revenge. Scientific information indicates that such a person is, in fact, a pitiful person with low self-esteem who wants to assert himself at the expense of those who have been offended or ridiculed by him. Here's what you need to know when faced with a boor. Understand and forgive, or even take pity on an insignificant person or respond with a witty phrase, smiling good-naturedly (not sarcasticly!).

Examples of situations when anger cannot be contained

A decent-looking person who is a boor can be found today at every step. Often the most common places where it is located are the following:

1. Trading platforms. The favorite place of a bored, angry person is, of course, a market or a supermarket. In some cases, a pharmacy is popular. Firstly, you can go there as an excursion and be outraged to your heart's content, studying the prices on the shelves. Secondly, hanging out in the crowd is also a nice thing for them. And all this, of course, is accompanied by unpleasant comments addressed to passers-by. By the way, store sellers also like to be rude.

2. Public transport. The favorite place of all boors is the crowd. And where else can you enjoy disturbances as much as in the crush of traffic during rush hour? There you pushed, here - you. And as a result, for example, we have a heatedly screaming woman who throws out her anger at everyone who tries to argue with her. And God forbid you surpass her in this honed skill.

3. Clinic. Government agency, where you absolutely have to stand in line, also knows daring people. This could be an impudent person who will try to skip the line. But then he will receive a good verbal thrashing from the people waiting in line, among whom boors may also be hiding.

4. Places of study. Adolescence famous for the “painful” growing up of children. How is it shown? Impudent phrases addressed to teachers, bickering in lessons at school, lyceums. Teenagers cannot give an objective assessment of what is happening. It seems to them that they already know everything, and adults are a little behind them. Unfortunately, rudeness and impudent phrases in the lessons of high school students are quite commonplace. The teacher can put the student in his place, gaining authority in his eyes, or not pay attention to what he “outgrows” by itself.

Daring phrases and expressions: examples

• And it’s true that we are all interested in speculating on topics that don’t concern us at all.
• You shouldn't expect any good from a person who is difficult to cheer up.
• I know that crooks achieve success, but not because of their own intelligence, as they believe, but because of the gullible people around them. And to lie, you don’t need intelligence. Working honestly is a skill.
• I’m terribly embarrassed to tell you this, but I’m not at all interested in how I look in your eyes, forgive me. I look great in mine, and that's enough.

• What is the level of development, so are the interests.
• You are so low in communication that, frankly, you are not even visible on the horizon.
• Please continue. When you say things like that, I feel so smart.
• Sorry, but you smell a bad odor coming from your mouth.
• Maybe I can bring you another drum?
• With such tirades you can only stand in the corner.
• If you are angry, then you yourself know that you are wrong.
• In this case, your emotions are not identified with the conclusions of your thinking.
• If you don't like me, I allow you to go underground.

Sassy phrases for girls

If a girl does not want to communicate with a guy, but cannot get rid of his pestering, or vice versa, she is struggling with his rudeness, perhaps she should use some phrases.

For example:

• Your time in my life is over. Hand in your pass and head out.
• If you fell in love with me, it's your mistake, all you can achieve is my smile.
• Dear, you are right - there have never been people like you, there are no more and there is no need.
• What I should do, I know, it’s written in the Constitution. The rest is up to me as I want.
• I'm doing great, so I have nothing to please you with.
• Aren't you the one who starred in the movie "Clowns"?
• I'm not picky, just the best is enough for me.

What about the guys?

Not only girls suffer from annoying boors. Let's look at some sassy phrases for guys. They can use these statements in response to the rudeness of their peers:

• You're not beautiful enough to be rude to me.
• If you say that, then most likely you have a spare jaw in your pocket.
• Kiss me on the run, I'm standing behind a tree.
• Maybe you're the one beautiful girl in our area, but I’m also interested in communicating with smart people.

So, the first foundation has been laid. Now you know how to respond to rudeness. But under no circumstances should you parry these statements in front of an innocent person. Otherwise you will find yourself in the role of a boor.

How to respond competently to insults? You cannot find anyone in the world who has never been insulted.

However, some look optimistic and happy with life, while others react painfully to other people’s attacks and retreat into a hole.

Let's think about how to properly respond to insults and remain unconvinced?

Big bosses, school teachers, kindergarten teachers, employees of registry offices and housing offices, even ordinary janitors - everyone now and then strives to insult the innocent.

It is important to distinguish criticism (even in a rude form) from insults. A criticizing person will definitely name the facts; his claims are conditioned by specific things and actions.

But the insulter often gets personal, stoops to swearing, calls you names, but this has nothing to do with your mistakes.

What to do if your boss insults you

In my life there were two opposing work teams. At the planning meetings of the first, pleasant people gathered, discussed successes, calmly expressed criticism, and supported those who had not succeeded.

After the speech of the talented and calm leader, everyone was full of enthusiasm and got to work with renewed energy.

At meetings of the second job, the boss constantly shouted; he considered everyone to be mediocrities and fools.

He could humiliate a young girl for an immodest outfit, a plump secretary for being overweight, and torment a colleague for half an hour for a crumpled tie.

Exhausted and tired, everyone took up work with reluctance, and once a month someone was sure to quit “on their own.”

The easiest way is to say “run away from this job,” because nothing will change the boss. But not everyone can change lucrative positions like gloves.

However, if you respond competently to insults, you will soon be able to earn his respect and remain in the team for a long time.

What is needed for that? Calm tone, increased self-esteem, smile, self-esteem and understanding the reasons for other people's behavior.

The shorter your answers are,all the better.

Don't be angry in response, put on a friendly face and forgive the offender in advance. After all, he is weak and primitive, and you are stronger, higher than him.

1. Abstract yourself from the situation. Work is not life, it's just work. You get money - not for your nerves and complaisance, but for your skills, period.

But no one pays for your peace of mind, so take care of it. Limit contact with unpleasant people. And after work, friends, children, wife, pets are waiting for you, delicious dinner, favorite series.

2. Turn on "ignore". Be silent and continue to do your business until the boss returns to a calm tone.

3. If the offender is angry in earnest, you can hiding malice, express my gratitude to him for his insightful comments.

He says to you: “Yes, you’re probably crazy!”, you boomerang to him: “Oh, you noticed that very well.”

He: “Yes, I have never seen you more stupid,” and you: “Thank you, I appreciate all your comments. I’ll definitely work on myself.” Smile sincerely, well, almost.

4. Think about the scale of the disaster. Is it so scary that a colleague called you an ugly name in the heat of an argument? There is a war going on somewhere in the world, someone is definitely starving, stars are exploding, new planets are being formed...

On the scale of the universe, the words of some bungler are empty, zero. Should I react to insults and worry?

5.“Aquarium fish” technique helped many of my colleagues. It’s enough to imagine that the boss is talking and talking, and only bubbles are coming out of his mouth and only gurgling can be heard.

Mentally isolate yourself from it with aquarium glass and enjoy the view.

6. When people shout at you for no reason (in other words, when it is not necessary to delve into the meaning of the words), strain your imagination and Imagine boss, let's say, giant hamster. Or a mischievous monkey that escaped from its enclosure and steals bags from passers-by.

7. Draw air into your lungs and in one breath, exhaling evenly, say: “I wish you were more polite to me.”

Or " Let's get to the point: what specific complaints do you have against me??. For some, it puts them in their place, like an ice-cold shower.

One of my university teachers managed to fail the smartest students: instead of talking about tickets, she hurled personal insults in a quiet, malicious voice. Yes, yes, there are such luminaries of science.

But my not the most gifted (but calm as a tank) classmate managed to pass everything on the first try. During the exam, he also quietly told her: “You are behaving unprofessionally. Let's get back to the subject of discussion?"

8. It is very important to remind presumptuous bosses that slavery and serf labor have long been abolished.

If you are being insulted and you hear shouts of “I demand”, “I order” and the like, try changing the tone of the conversation in a calm phrase: “So what exactly do you have for me? request?”, with emphasis on the last word.

9. The most important – don't show offense, do not give in to provocation.

Do not break down in response to reproaches and shouting, do not move your eyebrows angrily, and in general, do not give the offender a reason to see that you are offended. And only then will you win.

If the scream becomes a lump in your throat, go to the toilet, open the taps and scream. And then wash your face, smile in the mirror, take a deep breath - and back again.

10. A few more magic phrases that put a person in his place:“Why are you trying to offend me?”, “Are you having a bad day today? I understand, it happens”, “You seemed to me like a different, more pleasant person”, “I didn’t expect this from you”, “Excuse me, are you finished? I would like to work."

11. Control your thoughts. Don't remember offensive words at night, do not invent theoretical answers, do not desire revenge.

All this exhausts you, spoils your mood, but has no effect on the offender.

The most “vindictive” thing you can do is to move on calmly and enjoy the new day in spite of everything.

On a beautiful summer day, my friend and I decided to go to the beach. The weather is wonderful, the mood is great, the bus is air conditioned. And then some passenger, passing by us, utters a rude phrase that it is not at all necessary to stand on the aisle, they say, they blocked the passage of the pigs. A slight shock gave way to a spoiled mood. Thank God, it passed quickly, but the incident made me think: how to react to rudeness and rudeness, and at the same time not ruin the mood of your beloved?

Transport, work, random passers-by can become a source of rudeness or outright rudeness, which will unsettle you for a long time. So we studied the advice of psychologists and this is what we found out.

Why are people rude?

Psychologists are sure that with the help of rudeness, stubbornness, rudeness, a person tries to force others to respect him. This way you can significantly raise your status and show strength, the rude man is sure. In fact, it is evidence of human frailty. A rude person does not have enough patience, dignity, or confidence to win favor in other ways.

If you are rude and insulted

Is it even worth responding to rudeness? Imagine the situation: in the forest you came across a stump that for some reason you wanted to kick. And everyone who is not too lazy does this (and many people are not too lazy, as most people admitted). The further development of events depends on the stump itself: if it is rotten and partially falls apart, the next desire of the kicker will be the final destruction of the stump. No one needs it: you can’t sit on it and it’s not good for firewood. What if the stump is still hard? You could even hurt your leg! Now imagine that the stump is you (sorry for the unflattering comparison), and the one who kicks it is your offender.

If people react violently to barbs and insults, the rude person, at all costs, wants to break these people like a rotten stump. If the victim remains calm, he won’t want to pester him next time. Such reactions can be observed especially clearly in children. Therefore, if you do not respond to rudeness as the offender wants, he will very soon leave you alone.

Sometimes you still need to respond to rudeness

Sometimes we are unsettled by tactless questions or statements from friends and strangers. Why aren't you married yet? And how old are you? Oh, are you well again? This is real rudeness, but often the person asking similar questions, he doesn’t understand it himself. How to react to such attacks?

The best way out will be the answer with a question to a question. You may ask, “Why are you interested in this?” Or: “Why do you need to know such details from my personal life?” Or even say: “Sorry, but I don’t want to answer.” It turns out both direct and polite.

How to respond to rudeness

In order to properly respond to rudeness and rudeness, psychologists recommend mastering assertive behavior techniques. It sounds scientifically incomprehensible, but in fact, mastering this technique is not difficult. You will not allow your emotions to take over you and will calmly respond to unfriendly attacks. To do this, you yourself need to say out loud the shortcomings of which you are accused. This is very effective because it does not meet the expectations of the offender, who expected to hear an angry reaction and is already internally prepared for a small or large battle. But he hears: “Yes, it’s my fault, I moved the documents to another place, but forgot to warn.” After this, there will be a pause, since the person accusing you will not immediately answer this (he was preparing for completely different events). And if, when the stupor passes, he continues to blame you again, agree with his opinion, and he again has no trump cards left - you agree with him, it is simply useless to continue to be rude. If the offender finds the strength to continue a one-sided argument, he will look, to put it mildly, unattractive in the eyes of the team. You will be viewed as a victim of unfair treatment, even if you are truly at fault.

What to do in response to rudeness from strangers?

Don't confuse rudeness and criticism. If criticism, even harsh criticism, is always aimed at some result, then rudeness is one of the types of unjustified aggression that is directed at a specific person or group of people. When you are rude, it is, of course, unpleasant, but you can and should learn to react without losing your self-esteem.

• Don't notice

The best thing you can do is ignore the boor. If you pretend you didn't hear him and act like it doesn't concern you, he will lose interest in you and look for something else to direct his aggression at. After all, boors are waiting for a response. And the more emotional she is, the more actively they will be rude to you.

There is no need to show your offense. In the end, this is exactly what the boor wanted. Why give him pleasure? Say that his words are unpleasant to you, but nothing more.

• Regret

If you can’t leave barbs and insults unnoticed, take pity on the offender. After all, if he does this, he is inadequate. He has some problems. This man is truly unhappy. He is not loved, not cared for, not listened to by his parents, and perhaps by his chosen ones. So he tries to compensate for everything with rudeness, which he considers a defensive reaction. If you treat him like he's poor, his plans for you will change dramatically. The main thing is that your reaction does not serve as an excuse for the offender.

• Load with philosophy or respond with a joke

If someone is rude to you, you can respond with a complex, clever phrase. Ask the offender some smart question head-on, preferably even if it is rhetorical. It is unlikely that the rude person will understand what exactly they want from him, but he will definitely stop. For example: “Confucius said that good should be answered with good, and evil should be answered with justice. Do you think the great Confucius was right?”

Responding to rudeness with a subtle joke is aerobatics. But if jokes on the topic don’t come to mind, make a sympathetically cheerful expression on your face, in which the rude person will read the words “What a fool!” Or answer like this: “Are you being rude, my friend? What for? Do you want to offend me or something? And why do you need this?

• Ignore

Unfortunately, there is so much rudeness in our world that the most The best way to answer it is to show indifference. If you avoid rude people, your life will be much easier. You can learn not to react to others using the following meditation: “I am a leaf on the side of the road. Everyone passes by, no one notices me.” Repeat this phrase to yourself if you become the object of a boor's attention.

• Respond to rudeness with rudeness

"An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth"? We deliberately put this method at the end, since it has a significant drawback, although reacting to rudeness this way is the first thing that usually comes to mind. If you put a rude person in his place by responding in kind, you sink to his level and do not maintain your self-esteem. Responding to rudeness with rudeness is a short way to being considered a boor yourself.

So, rudeness begins when you are ready to tolerate it. If you don't intend to do it, you won't be rude, regardless of whether you hear it or not. Free people rudeness is not tolerated. If you hear derogatory statements towards your people or country, if you are poorly served in a cafe, if you hear blatant lies addressed to you, do not tolerate such treatment. This does not mean that you should respond to rudeness with rudeness; we have considered a lot of other ways. After all, you are a free person. And only people with a slavish perception of reality tolerate it. But there is one case when you don’t need to react to rudeness at all. This is rudeness on the Internet.

How to respond to rudeness on the Internet

Here we regularly encounter negative comments and aggressive attacks that are in the nature of text messages. Many people get very upset about this. There was a time when I myself went to the forum 20 times a day to check if my abuser had left me new public messages, and in between visits, I thought in my head what I would write in response to her next attack.

In fact, it is completely absurd to be upset, since these emotions are directed into emptiness. Understand and accept that these people are completely unhealthy, as evidenced by the excess of aggression that they splash out on the Internet. How do we treat sick people? That's right, we feel sorry for them.

Therefore, you should not react to rudeness on the Internet. After all, such people need your attention, they strive to attract it to themselves. And when we give attention to something, we give our own energy. By getting into an argument with these people, you are giving them what they need. With your answers you reinforce them, support an aggressive reaction. So that they stop throwing out aggression on Internet users, behave with them as is customary with small children when they behave like hooligans. Ignore completely - this is the best tactic. Moreover, it is generally unknown who, and he is located in an unknown place, and has nothing to do with you personally. It’s another matter if you and a loved one had an argument online. Here it is better to meet face to face and discuss the problems that have arisen.

There are people who real life They constantly suppress aggression within themselves, but from time to time they splash it out on the Internet. The reason is clear, because the World Wide Web is an anonymous environment. But these are personal problems of those people who have nothing to do with you. Therefore, save your energy, you will need it for more important things.