How to properly confess in the Orthodox Church. What words should I begin my confession to the priest with? Behavior at the sacrament of repentance

10 moments of confession that will help avoid awkwardness and shorten the time of the sacrament itself.
1. Approach the priest

Usually a separate place is reserved for confession in the temple. There is a lectern (a high, sloping table) on which lies the Cross and the Gospel. A priest stands nearby.
Advice: do not make a lot of bows and signs of the cross directly near the lectern. This can be done in advance.

2. What is my name?

Before you start, name your church name(the one with whom you were baptized), so that the priest does not ask him again later. Even if you are a regular parishioner of this temple, the priest should not know everyone by name.

3. Where to put money for confession?

Confession in church is always free. But people want to donate money. To do this, a carbon bowl or plate is placed near the lectern. In some churches it is customary to bring a candle to confession. You can find out about this at the church kiosk.

4. What to say?

We name a specific sin. For example, I sinned with judgment, anger, envy, etc. There is no need to tell that the neighbor came and said... I had a fight with her, they answered me and the like - we need to voice the very sin of this story.

5. Is it necessary to cry in confession?

Why cry? There is no need to do this by artificially causing tears in yourself. This only lengthens the time occupied by one confessor. What if each of the two hundred standing in line to see the priest cries? It happens that tears roll out of the eyes on their own - this is understandable, but excessive sobbing is not necessary.

6. Preparing for confession

We need to prepare. It is necessary to know personal sins (we know about strangers, but somehow we don’t remember our own, relatives). It is better to name bad deeds from memory. As a last resort, write them down on paper (so as not to forget), and then read them out. But don't let the priest look through your notes! This is acceptable if a person cannot say his sins out loud due to illness or old age.

7. Reading prayers during confession

There is a certain rule in the prayer books for preparing for confession. Prayers are recommended there. You can read them at home, before going to church. There is NO need to read them during confession itself. We name only sins. Reading different prayers also delays the time of the sacrament. Before going out to confess, the priest reads the necessary prayers in the Altar (sometimes he reads this rite in front of the parishioners, if there is an opportunity for this, let’s say the service has not yet started).

8. Blessing for the weakening of fasting

There is no need to burden the priest with your inability to fast, literally snatching from him a blessing to eat food! In illness, pregnancy, breastfeeding, even on a trip/travel, food restrictions are lifted. Therefore, if there is no confessor, decide for yourself what to eat. If a doctor prescribes a certain menu, then you need to listen to the doctor. The main thing in fasting is our spiritual activity and abstinence.

9. How long should confession take?

If you do everything correctly, following my advice, the time will be within two minutes. Sometimes people come not ready, like: ask me, I will answer. Or they say that I have nothing to repent of. Well, why did you come to confession then? For company? Or is it such a tradition?
Everyone has their own sins. Delve into yourself, ask your conscience, and get an answer.

10. End of confession

After the priest reads a prayer over the head of the confessor, he kisses the Cross and the Gospel - as a sign of his cleansing from sins, he applies himself to these shrines. Folding his palms crosswise, right to left, he asks for a blessing from the priest. He gives his blessing and places his hand in folded palms. And the parishioner kisses this hand - not as a priest, but as the right hand of the Lord Himself, acting invisibly through a minister of the church.

Sometimes the priest may, after blessing, place his hand on the head of the person praying - this is also permissible. But in this case, there is no need to specifically reach out to kiss your hand.

Get baptized on your butt

There is such a concept. Self imposed sign of the cross in front of the priest. There is no need to do this. We cross ourselves in front of shrines: the Cross, icons, relics, etc.

About confession I would also like to say that no matter what grave sin a person commits, it is not forgiven UNLESS this person names the sin in confession. Therefore, no matter how ashamed you may be to confess, always name all your sins, without hiding anything. After all, you cannot hide from God, but unconfessed sin burdens the soul and a person suffers.

There is no need to repeat a sin that has already been forgiven (confessed earlier), for example, abortion. But if a forgotten long-standing sin is remembered, then, of course, it must be named.

And I also want to say that you can confess often (even every day, if you have something) separately from Communion. There is an opinion that after confession it is necessary to take communion. It is not right. When preparing for Communion, a person must confess. But, if sins appear, you can do this at any time, even if there is no service in the temple.

Do not put off confession until the next post - sins are forgotten and the unrepentant soul is burdened! Be with God! Guardian Angel!

When going to confession to their confessor, many believers ask themselves questions: how to confess correctly, what to say to the priest? This is especially of interest to those who are going to repentance for the first time. Of course, this is very exciting, because a person must repent of all mortal sins. But after Father forgives all sins, my soul becomes light and free.

Confession is often called the second baptism. Having been baptized for the first time, the believer is freed from original sin. And a person who has repented removes from himself the sins committed in life after baptism. Man is a sinner; throughout his life, unrighteous deeds move him further and further from God. To get closer to the saint, you need to accept the sacrament of confession or repentance.

Salvation of the soul - the main objective confessing. Only in repentance is the sinner reunited with the Heavenly Father. Despite the fact that troubles and sad moments happen in the life of every Christian, he should not complain, grumble about fate and be despondent. This is one of the most serious sins.

To prepare for confession, you need to think carefully about everything and do the following:

forgive all your offenders and, if possible, make peace with them;
ask for forgiveness yourself from everyone you might offend by word or deed;
stop gossiping and judging others for their actions;
stop watching entertainment programs and magazines;
drive away all obscene thoughts from yourself;
study spiritual literature;
3 days before the sacrament you need to eat only lean food;
attend services in the temple.

Children under 7 years of age and those who have just been baptized are not subject to confession, and women who are menstruating on this day and young mothers who have not had another 40 days since giving birth are also not allowed.

As soon as you arrive at the temple, you will see that believers have gathered for confession. You should turn to them, look at everyone and say: “Forgive me, a sinner!” To this the parishioners should answer: “God will forgive, and we forgive.”

After this, you need to approach the confessor, bowing your head in front of the lectern, put a cross on yourself and bow. Now we should begin confession. It may happen that the priest asks you to kiss the cross and the Bible. You must do everything he says.

What sins should you tell a clergyman about?

If this is not the first time you have repented, there is no need to talk about previously committed sins. You should only mention those that you made after the previous confession.

The main sins committed by man.

Sins against the Heavenly Father. These include pride, renunciation of the church and the Almighty, violation of the 10 commandments, false prayer, unworthy behavior during worship, passion for fortune telling or magicians, thoughts of suicide.
Sins against one's neighbor. These are grievances, anger, anger, indifference, slander. Mean jokes directed at others.
Sins against yourself. Dejection, melancholy. Games for money, passion for material assets. Smoking, alcoholism, gluttony.

If you truly consciously repent and repent, God will forgive all sins. Remember the main 10 commandments and think about whether you have broken them. You can’t hide anything or not say anything. Most often, the priest will listen to you and forgive you your sins. Sometimes he will ask you to elaborate on a particular case.

At the beginning of the conversation, the priest will ask: “In what way have you sinned before the Lord?” If you don't know the language of the Bible, you can start confessing in your own words. The main thing is that they come from the heart.

Finally, you must answer all the questions your confessor asks you. Do you repent of what you did? Have you decided to live according to the commandments and not commit sins in the future?

After your answers, the priest will cover you with a piece of holy clothing called the stole. He will speak over you and tell you what to do next. You can take communion, or the priest will recommend coming to confession again.

Having decided to confess, first of all you need to turn to your clergyman, who will reveal to you all the nuances of this sacrament. Only in this case you will not worry about how to confess correctly, what to say to the priest. Come to confession with with a pure heart and tell without concealment about all the sins that you have committed. Only then will the Lord be merciful and grant you forgiveness.

Confession is a sacrament when a believer confesses their sins to a priest. The representative of the church has the right to forgive sins in the name of the Lord and Jesus Christ.

According to biblical legends, Christ endowed the apostles with such an opportunity, which was later passed on to the clergy. During repentance, a person not only talks about his sins, but also gives his word not to commit them again.

What is confession?

Confession is not only cleansing, but also a test for the soul. It helps to remove the burden and cleanse yourself before the face of the Lord, reconcile with him and overcome internal doubts. You need to go to confession once a month, but if you want to do it more often, you should follow the urges of your soul and repent any time you want.

For especially serious sins, a church representative can impose a special punishment called penance. This can be long prayer, fasting or abstinence, which are ways to purify oneself. When a person violates the laws of God, it negatively affects his mental and physical condition. Repentance helps to gain strength and fight the temptations that push people to sin. The believer gets the opportunity to talk about his misdeeds and remove the burden from his soul. Before confession, it is necessary to make a list of sins, with the help of which you can correctly describe the sin and prepare correct speech for repentance.

How to start a confession to the priest with what words?

The seven deadly sins, which are the main vices, look like this:

gluttony (gluttony, excessive food abuse)
fornication (dissolute life, infidelity)
anger (hot temper, vindictiveness, irritability)
love of money (greed, desire for material values)
despondency (laziness, depression, despair)
vanity (selfishness, sense of narcissism)
envy

It is believed that when committing these sins, the human soul can perish. By committing them, a person moves further and further away from God, but all of them can be released during sincere repentance. It is believed that it was mother nature who laid them in every person, and only the strongest in spirit can resist temptations and fight evil. But it is worth remembering that every person can commit a sin while going through a difficult period in life. People are not immune from misfortunes and difficulties that can drive everyone to despair. You need to learn to fight passions and emotions, and then no sin will be able to overcome you and ruin your life.

Preparing for Confession

It is necessary to prepare for repentance in advance. First you need to find a temple where the sacraments are held and choose the appropriate day. Most often they are held on holidays and weekends. At this time, there are always a lot of people in the temple, and not everyone will be able to open up when strangers are nearby. In this case, you need to contact the priest and ask him to make an appointment on another day when you can be alone. Before repentance, it is recommended to read the Canon of Repentance, which will allow you to tune in and put your thoughts in order.

You need to know that there are three groups of sins that can be written down and taken with you to confession.

Vices against God:

These include blasphemy and insulting the Lord, blasphemy, interest in occult sciences, superstition, thoughts of suicide, excitement, and so on.

Vices against the soul:

Laziness, deception, use of obscene words, impatience, disbelief, self-delusion, despair.

Vices against neighbors:

Disrespect for parents, slander, condemnation, rancor, hatred, theft, and so on.

How to confess correctly, what should you say to the priest at the beginning?

Before approaching a church representative, get out of your head bad thoughts and get ready to bare your soul. You can start confession in the following way: how to confess correctly, what to say to the priest, for example: “Lord, I have sinned before you,” and after that you can list your sins. There is no need to tell the priest about the sin in great detail; it is enough to just say “Committed adultery” or confess to another vice.

But to the list of sins you can add “I sinned with envy, I constantly envy my neighbor...” and so on. After listening to you, the priest will be able to give valuable advice and help you do the right thing in a given situation. Such clarifications will help identify your greatest weaknesses and combat them. The confession ends with the words “I repent, Lord! Save and have mercy on me, a sinner!”

Many confessors are very ashamed to talk about anything, this is an absolute normal feeling. But at the moment of repentance, you need to overcome yourself and understand that it is not the priest who condemns you, but God, and that it is God who you tell about your sins. The priest is just a conductor between you and the Lord, do not forget about this.

List of sins for a woman

Many representatives of the fair sex, having become familiar with it, decide to refuse confession. It looks like this:

Rarely prayed and came to church
During prayer I thought about pressing problems
Had sex before marriage
Had unclean thoughts
I turned to fortune tellers and magicians for help
Believed in superstitions
I was afraid of old age
Abused alcohol, drugs, sweets
Refused to help other people
Committed abortions
Wearing revealing clothes

List of sins for a man

Blasphemy against the Lord
Disbelief
Ridicule of those who are weaker
Cruelty, pride, laziness, greed
Evasion of military service
Insults and use of physical force against others
Slander
Inability to resist temptations
Refusal to help relatives and other people
Theft
Rudeness, contempt, greed

A man needs to take a more responsible approach to this issue, since he is the head of the family. It is from him that children will take their role model.

There is also a list of sins for a child, which can be compiled after he answers a series of specific questions. He must understand how important it is to speak sincerely and honestly, but this already depends on the approach of the parents and their preparation of their child for confession.

The importance of confession in the life of a believer

Many holy fathers call confession the second baptism. This helps to establish unity with God and cleanse oneself of filth. As the Gospel says, repentance is necessary condition to cleanse the soul. Throughout life path a person must strive to overcome temptations and prevent vice. During this sacrament, a person receives liberation from the shackles of sin, and all his sins are forgiven by the Lord God. For many, repentance is a victory over oneself, because only a true believer can admit what people prefer to remain silent about.

If you have confessed before, then you should not talk about old sins again. They have already been released and there is no point in repenting for them anymore. When you finish confessing, the priest will give his speech, give advice and instructions, and also say a prayer of permission. After this, the person must cross himself twice, bow, venerate the crucifix and the Gospel, then cross himself again and receive a blessing.

How to confess for the first time - an example?

The first confession may seem mysterious and unpredictable. People are frightened by the expectation that they might be judged by a priest and experience a feeling of shame and embarrassment. It is worth remembering that representatives of the church are people who live according to the laws of the Lord. They do not judge, do not wish harm to anyone and love their neighbors, trying to help them with wise advice.

They will never express a personal point of view, so you should not be afraid that the priest’s words may somehow hurt, offend or shame you. He never shows emotion, speaks in a low voice and speaks very little. Before repentance, you can approach him and ask for advice on how to properly prepare for this sacrament.

There is a lot of literature in church shops that can also help and give a lot important information. During repentance, you should not complain about others and your life; you need to talk only about yourself, listing the vices to which you have succumbed. If you adhere to fasting, then this is the best moment for confession, because by limiting themselves, people become more restrained and improve, contributing to the purification of the soul.

Many parishioners end their fast with confession, which is the logical conclusion of long abstinence. This sacrament leaves in a person’s soul the most vivid emotions and impressions that are never forgotten. By relieving the soul from sins and receiving their forgiveness, a person gets a chance to start life anew, resist temptations and live in harmony with the Lord and his laws. Article found on alabanza.ru

It is probably difficult to find a person now who has not heard anything about confession. Even those who do not have the habit of going to temple have some idea about this action. Nevertheless, it is necessary to know firmly what confession is.

What is confession?

Confession is a church sacrament, that is, a secret. Why a secret? First of all, because in a secret and incomprehensible way for us, the cleansing of our sins occurs. All those actions that diverge from the commandments given to us by God, which we did after baptism, are washed away from the soul, and it becomes pure and sinless again. Of course, it is unlikely that all sins can be remembered in one confession, so it is advisable to confess regularly.

How to confess for the first time

The first confession is like a first date, it is so mysterious and difficult to predict. Most people who are not active parishioners of the church have the same question: “How to approach this sacrament for the first time?” Indeed, the first confession frightens people; they don’t know how it will go, or what to expect from it. There are many books and small brochures on how to go to confession for the first time, where everything is described in great detail. Nevertheless, it is worth dwelling in more detail on this sacrament.

First of all, do not be afraid of this action. A priest is, first of all, a person who acts not on his own behalf, but on behalf of God. And God is love, as the Holy Scripture tells us, so you should not expect that someone will scold or condemn you. On the contrary, the priest will perfectly understand your condition, especially since he will see that this is your first participation in this sacrament. Most often, clergy are friendly and taciturn. They will never express their personal attitude towards a person and his actions. This is how they were taught, and this is correct. In addition, probably every priest remembers his first confession, which is why there is no need to be afraid.

Don’t be afraid to ask experienced parishioners about how to confess for the first time. Mostly people are willing to tell you how to do it, what to say, and even how to pray. It’s especially good if you find such parishioners among your acquaintances, then in this case they will answer all the questions that torment you, and most importantly, the very frightening one: “How to confess for the first time?” Well, we will pay attention to the main points right now.

How to confess to the priest - main points

Confession usually takes place during or after the service at the side of the lectern, which represents wooden stand under the cross or the Gospel. Usually there is a line of people wanting to confess. Each such conversation does not last long, because very often there are many people, but only one priest.

Before going to the priest, they usually fold their arms crosswise on their chest and bow to the one standing behind, thereby asking for his mercy and permission to walk in front of him. After this, you need to go behind the lectern to the priest. Father never shows his emotions, speaks in a low voice and very little. You can ask him the question of how to confess, what to say, and he will certainly answer, but it would be better to prepare for this conversation in advance.

Many people prefer not to say anything, but to entrust their sins to paper. This is also possible, it is not forbidden. In this case, the priest himself will read the note, and therefore read the prayer of permission. However, it is better to talk about your sins. After confession, the priest covers the person with an epitrachelion, which is a long yellow apron, and reads a prayer, which has a cleansing effect.

Composition of a confession: what to say

To know how to confess and what to say, you can purchase the appropriate literature in church shops. Everything is described there in great detail.

Some people begin to complain about life, about others during the process of confession. Of course this is wrong. You only need to talk about yourself. It is advisable to confess according to the order given in the preparation books. It says how to confess and receive communion.

Sacrament of Communion

Communion is another of the sacraments of the church. It occurs after confession, and only those people who confessed take part in it. Communion is no less mysterious and mysterious phenomenon in the church. During it, people become part of God through the fact that they eat the bread and wine that were consecrated at the altar before communion.

Only those who confessed the day before and children under seven years of age are allowed to receive communion. From the age of seven, children, like adults, must also come to confession.

Sometimes a priest does not allow you to receive communion when he sees that a person does not understand the meaning of the sacraments, is confused, or does not believe that he should repent. It is also rare that he imposes penance, which is a form of punishment. However, as a rule, penances are not very strict, as for monks or priests. Therefore, you should not be afraid of them, but you just need to obediently do what the priest says.

After several instances of participation in church sacraments the question of how to confess and receive communion will no longer be so pressing, because everything will become familiar and familiar, and you will even be able to advise other people who have crossed the threshold of the temple for the first time.

Children's confession

As mentioned above, children begin confession starting at the age of 7. Before this, it is believed that they are sinless and do not need this sacrament. Consequently, they can receive communion without confessing.

Many parents are faced with the question of how to confess to their children. The first time is difficult and scary even for adults, but a child is a child. He has a completely different perception of the world, a different idea of sins. Therefore, you should not impose your wishes regarding confession on him. The child must formulate in his own words those thoughts and actions that, in his opinion, are sinful. If the child misunderstands confession, the priest will teach and explain to him how to confess and tell about his sins.

Confession in Lent

Lent is a time of special repentance for Orthodox Christians. During this time, people abstain from large meals, including meat and dairy products. By this they accustom themselves to abstinence, which is especially necessary for the perfection of the soul.

Confession during Lent is very desirable, because it is necessary to cleanse not only the body, but also the soul. The question of how to confess during Lent should not cause confusion. Confession occurs in exactly the same way as on other non-fast days. There are no differences. On the contrary, confession during Lent is even easier. The fact is that before any confession it is advisable to fast, and during fasting such additional preparation is not required, because the person will already be ready for the sacrament. Confession during fasting is its result, its completion, which is why you should not neglect it.

How often do you go to confession?

Do you need to go to confession every week? Or once a month? This question is asked by everyone who is just starting to visit the temple, and by those who have been its parishioners for a long time. In fact, there is no single rule regarding the frequency of confession; everything depends on the desire of the person, on his internal state. It is still advisable to go to confession at least once a year, and the rest - as desired and necessary.

Confession leaves vivid memories in the soul of every person. Probably everyone remembers their first confession. Many people call it a “soul bath”, and this has its own logic. The soul is relieved from the weight of the sins and passions that have covered it, and this is important!

Confession. Unfortunately, we really have a lot of things mixed up in our heads, and it seems to us that if a person cannot help but sin, he must confess almost every day.

Frequent confession can be very useful at a certain stage of our life, especially when a person is just taking his first steps in faith, is just beginning to cross the threshold of the temple, and the space of a new life, almost unknown, opens up for him. He doesn’t know how to pray correctly, how to build his relationships with his neighbors, how to generally navigate this new life of his, so he makes mistakes all the time, all the time, it seems to him (and not only him), he does something wrong That.

Thus, frequent confession for those people whom we call neophytes is a very important and serious stage in their recognition of the Church and understanding of all the foundations of spiritual life. Such people enter the life of the Church, including through confession, through conversation with a priest. Where else can you talk so closely with a priest if not at confession? The main thing is that here they receive their main first Christian experience of understanding their mistakes, understanding how to build relationships with other people, with themselves. Such confession very often is a spiritual, confessional conversation more than repentance of sins. One might say - a catechetical confession.

But over time, when a person already understands a lot, knows a lot, has gained some experience through trial and error, for him it is very common and detailed confession may become an obstacle. Not necessarily for everyone: some people feel quite normal with frequent confession. But for some it can become a barrier, because a person suddenly learns to think something like this: “If I live all the time, it means I sin all the time. If I sin all the time, then I have to confess all the time. If I don’t confess, how will I approach communion with my sins?” Here there is such, I would say, a syndrome of distrust in God, when a person thinks that for confessed sins he has been awarded the honor of receiving the Sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ.

Of course this is not true. The contrite spirit with which we come to communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ does not cancel our confession. But confession does not cancel a contrite spirit.

The fact is that a person cannot confess at confession in such a way as to take all his sins and state them. Impossible. Even if he takes and simply rewrites a book listing all the various sins and perversions that exist on Earth. This will not be a confession. This will be absolutely nothing other than a formal act of distrust in God, which in itself, of course, is not very good.
The most terrible spiritual disease

People sometimes come to confession in the evening, then go to church in the morning, and then - ah! - at the Chalice itself they remember: “I forgot to confess this sin!” - and almost from the line for communion they run away to the priest, who continues the confession, in order to say what he forgot to say in confession. This is, of course, a problem.

Or they suddenly begin to babble at the Chalice: “Father, I forgot to say such and such in confession.” What does a person bring to communion? With love or with mistrust? If a person knows and trusts God, then he knows that God came into this world to save sinners. “From them I am first,” the priest says these words, and each of us says when he comes to confession. Those who are not righteous receive Holy Communion Mysteries of Christ, but sinners, of whom each one who comes to the Chalice is the first, because he is a sinner. This means that he even goes to receive communion with sins.

He repents of these sins, laments over them; this contrition is the most important thing that gives a person the opportunity to partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Otherwise, if a person confessed before communion and felt confident that now he would receive communion worthily, now he has the right to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ, then I think that nothing could be worse and worse than this.

As soon as a person feels worthy, as soon as a person feels entitled to receive communion, the most terrible spiritual illness that can befall a Christian will occur. Therefore, in many countries, communion and confession are not a mandatory combination. Confession is performed at its own time and place, communion is celebrated during the Divine Liturgy.

Therefore, those who confessed, say, a week ago, two weeks ago, and their conscience is peaceful, their relations with their neighbors are good, and their conscience does not convict a person of any sins that would weigh on his soul like a terrible and unpleasant stain , he can, lamentingly, approach the Chalice... It is clear that each of us is sinful in many ways, each of us is imperfect. We realize that without God’s help, without God’s mercy we will not become different.

To list the sins that God knows about us - why do something that is already clear? I repent of the fact that I am a proud person, but I cannot repent of this every 15 minutes, although every minute I remain the same proud. When I come to confession to repent of the sin of pride, I sincerely repent of this sin, but I understand that, having moved away from confession, I did not become humble, I did not completely exhaust this sin. Therefore, it would be pointless for me to come every 5 minutes and say again: “Sinful, sinful, sinful.”

My sin is my work, my sin is my work on this sin. My sin is constant self-reproach, daily attention to what I brought to God for confession. But I can’t tell God about this every time, He already knows it. I will say this next time when this sin trips me up again and again shows me all my insignificance and all my isolation from God. I once again bear sincere repentance for this sin, but as long as I know that I am infected with this sin, until this sin forced me to turn away from God so much that I felt how strong this distance was, this sin may not be the subject of my constant confession, but must be the subject of my constant struggle.

The same applies to everyday sins. Let's say it is very difficult for a person to live a whole day without judging anyone. Or live the whole day without saying a single unnecessary, idle word. The fact that we constantly name these sins in confession will not change anything. If every day in the evening, going to bed, we check our conscience, not just read this memorized prayer, the last one in the evening rule, where money-grubbing, covetousness and any other incomprehensible “possession” is imputed to us as sin, but simply Let us truly examine our conscience and understand that today again was a setback in our life, that today again we did not keep at the height of our Christian calling, then we will bring repentance to God, this will be our spiritual work, this will be exactly the doing that is from us The Lord awaits.

But if we list this sin every time we come to confession, but do absolutely nothing, then this confession turns out to be very doubtful.
There is no heavenly accounting

Every Christian can approach the frequency of confession based on the realities of his spiritual life. But it’s strange to think of God as a prosecutor, to believe that there is some kind of heavenly accounting that takes all our confessed sins as offset and erases them from some ledger when we come to confession. That’s why we are afraid, what if we forgot, what if we didn’t say something, and what if it won’t be erased with an eraser?

Well, they forgot and forgot. It's OK. We hardly know our sins at all. Whenever we become spiritually alive, we suddenly see ourselves as we have not seen ourselves before. Sometimes a person, having lived for many years in the Church, says to the priest: “Father, it seems to me that I was better before, I have never committed such sins as now.”

Does this mean he was better? Of course not. It’s just that then, many years ago, he didn’t see himself at all, didn’t know who he was. And over time, the Lord revealed his essence to man, and then not completely, but only to the very extent to which man is capable of this. Because if at the beginning of our spiritual life the Lord had shown us all our inability for this life, all our weakness, all our inner ugliness, then perhaps we would have despaired of this so much that we would not have wanted to go anywhere further. Therefore, the Lord, by His mercy, even reveals our sins gradually, knowing how sinful we are. But at the same time he allows us to receive communion.
Confession is not training

I don't think confession is something a person trains himself to do. We have spiritual exercises in which we, in a sense, train ourselves, tune ourselves up - this is, for example, fasting. Its regularity is stated in the fact that during fasting a person tries to organize his life. Another spiritual “training” can include a prayer rule, which also really helps a person to organize his life.

But if the sacrament is considered from this point of view, then it is a disaster. You cannot take communion regularly for the sake of regularity of communion. Regular communion is not exercise, not physical education. This does not mean that since I have not taken communion, I have lost something and must take communion in order to accumulate some kind of spiritual potential. It's not like that at all.

A person takes communion because he cannot live without it. He has a thirst to receive communion, he has a desire to be with God, he has a true and sincere desire to open himself to God and become different, uniting with God... And the sacraments of the Church cannot become some kind of physical training for us. They are not given for this, they are still not exercises, but life.

The meeting of friends and relatives does not happen because friends must meet regularly, otherwise they will not be friends. Friends meet because they are very attracted to each other. It is unlikely that friendship will be useful if, say, people set themselves the task: “We are friends, therefore, in order for our friendship to grow stronger, we must meet every Sunday.” This is absurd.

The same can be said about the sacraments. “If I want to confess correctly and develop a real feeling of repentance in myself, I must confess every week,” sounds absurd. Like this: “If I want to become a saint and be with God always, I must take communion every Sunday.” Just ridiculous.

Moreover, it seems to me that there is some kind of substitution in this, because everything is not in its place. A person confesses because his heart hurts, because his soul suffers from pain, because he has sinned and he is ashamed, he wants to cleanse his heart. A person receives communion not because the regularity of communion makes him a Christian, but because he strives to be with God, because he cannot help but receive communion.
Quality and frequency of confession

The quality of confession does not depend on the frequency of confession. Of course, there are people who confess once a year, take communion once a year - and do this without understanding why. Because it’s the way it’s supposed to be and somehow it has to be, the time has come. Therefore, they, of course, do not have some skill in confession, or understanding of its essence. Therefore, as I already said, in order to enter church life and learn something, of course, at first you need regular confession.

But regularity does not mean once a week. The regularity of confession can be different: 10 times a year, once a month... When a person builds his life spiritually, he feels that he needs to confess.

It’s like priests: they each set a certain regularity for their confession. I even think that there is not even any regularity here, except that the priest himself feels the moment when he needs to confess. There is a certain internal obstacle to communion, there is an internal obstacle to prayer, the understanding comes that life is beginning to fall apart, and you need to go to confession.

In general, a person must live like this in order to feel this. When a person does not have a sense of life, when a person measures everything by a certain external element, external actions, then, of course, he will be surprised: “How is it possible to receive communion without confession? Like this? This is some kind of horror!

O. Alexy Umninsky