DNA testing showed that the real father of Alexander Malinin’s daughter is the singer’s father. My daughter
Veronica and I divorced two years ago, after six years of marriage. Just at one moment, we realized that completely different people, and saw no point in continuing our relationship further.
We had a lovely daughter, Diana. After the divorce, we remained friends with ex-wife, I left an apartment for them and my daughter, and every weekend I took Diana to my place.
Soon, I married my beloved woman, Tatyana. We worked together in the same company, and it seemed like we were made for each other. Tanya treated my daughter very well, sometimes we went to the cinema together.
“Darling, tomorrow is Saturday, my mother is expecting us to visit,” Tanya told me in the evening.
Okay, love. “To visit, so to visit, as you say,” I smiled.
Dima, just let’s not take your Diana with us. You know my parents won’t approve of this,” Tanya said.
What does “will not approve” mean? Your parents weren't against our marriage, were they? On the contrary, they were very happy. They know very well that I have a daughter. I left my wife, but not my child! - I was indignant.
Yes, you are right. But is it difficult for you to fulfill my request? Just don't take Diana tomorrow, that's all. Or don't you love me? - my wife was offended.
Tanya, you are an adult, but you behave like a capricious girl. “I love you, but I promised my daughter to take her for the weekend, and I’m not going to deceive her because of your whim,” I said, and went to bed.
The next day, I went to pick up my daughter.
Hello, Dima. I have a request for you, in a week I will need to leave for ten days. Is it possible for Diana to live with you? - Veronica asked me.
Hurray, I will live with dad! - the girl clapped her hands. I smiled at my daughter and stroked her head.
Of course, why are you asking? - I told my wife.
We went home with our daughter.
Diana, we were invited to visit today by Aunt Tanya’s parents, shall we go? - I asked my daughter.
“Come on, daddy, I’ll behave well, don’t worry,” the girl said seriously.
“Okay, I won’t worry, I know that you are an obedient and well-mannered girl,” I smiled.
Arriving home, I discovered that Tatyana was no longer there. On the table, I saw a note: “I went to see my mother, I’ll be late.” I felt a little uneasy, and for some reason, I felt bad for my daughter.
Diana, our plans are changing, today we will go to the carousel! - I told my daughter.
We walked all day, then ate in a cafe, and went home. Tanya was sitting in a chair and watching TV. She greeted Diana coldly and went to bed.
Dima, we need to talk seriously,” my wife told me after a while.
I'm listening, did something happen? - I asked.
Yes, it happened. This can't go on any longer. I love you, and I don’t want to share you with anyone! - Tanya said.
And you don’t need to share me with anyone. I don’t have any mistresses, so I’m all yours,” I smiled at my wife.
Let's just skip your jokes. Now we are talking about your daughter. This can't go on any longer. In the end, we will have our own children, and it is not normal for you to take Diana to our house! - said the woman.
Tanya, I don’t force you to love your daughter. But you have to respect her and treat her accordingly. I think our conversation is over! - I said.
Tatiana, as always, pouted her lips and turned away.
By the way, I forgot to tell you. Veronica will soon leave for ten days, and Diana will live with us for now,” I said.
Tanya remained silent and went into the bedroom. For several days my wife did not speak to me. I didn't know what to do. After all, I loved Tanya, but even more, I loved my child.
Soon, Diana moved in with us. Tanya practically didn’t talk to the girl, pretending not to notice her. Diana felt poorly treated and felt awkward.
Daddy, Aunt Tanya, is she offended by me? “I behave well, today I swept the apartment, but she still doesn’t talk to me,” my daughter asked me.
No, baby, you imagined it. Aunt Tanya has problems at work, so she is in no mood. Don't pay any attention to her. “Let’s go watch cartoons,” I told my daughter.
A week later, Veronica called me.
Dima, this is the case here, in general, I’m getting married,” the woman said.
Happy for you, congratulations! - I said sincerely.
You see, my future husband, does not yet know about his daughter. Do you mind if Diana stays with you for a while? - Veronica asked me.
I am for it! You know, I always wanted my daughter to live with me. Don't worry, we'll be fine. And I wish you happiness! - I said.
The next day, I went to Veronica’s apartment to pick up my daughter’s things. Arriving back, I found an unpleasant picture.
You are a stupid and clumsy impudent person! Who gave you permission to come to my bedside table? - I heard Tatyana scream.
Aunt Tanya, please don’t swear, I wanted to wipe off the dust and accidentally touched your powder, I didn’t do it on purpose,” my daughter cried.
Entering the room, I saw Diana, the girl was crying, and with shaking hands, she was trying to collect the powder.
I'll show you now how to climb other people's things! - Tanya shouted and swung a towel at Diana.
Stop, Tatyana! - I shouted. The woman turned around in fear, her eyes darting treacherously.
Dima, is that you? Why are you so early? - she asked.
Don't you allow yourself too much? - I asked my wife.
So it is! I am tired of this. Choose, either me or her! - Tanya shouted.
So, what should you choose? “Get your things, I’ll call you a taxi,” I said calmly.
Tanya looked at me in confusion, not expecting such a turn. I silently took out the suitcase from the mezzanine and handed it to the woman.
The choice here is inappropriate, there are thousands like you, but I have only one daughter,” I said.
You will regret it! You will crawl to me on your knees! - the woman screamed in hysterics.
Tanya, finish this cheap show and get ready quickly,” I said, and called a taxi.
After Tatyana left, I somehow felt at ease and calm in my soul. It was as if I had gotten rid of some kind of burden.
Dad, did you quarrel because of me? It's my fault? - Diana asked me.
No, daughter, it's not your fault. By the way, I have great idea! I'll take a vacation with tomorrow, and we'll go to the sea. You do not mind? - I smiled at my daughter.
Hooray! Daddy, I love you so much! - Diana said and hugged me around the neck.
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family happiness , but still met not long ago... raising a girl, the responsibility for which lies with the father, and the mother, no matter how hard she tries, will not be able to replace the father in them.
The fact is that it is the relationship with the father that fundamentally influences the formation of the daughter as a future woman, her further relationships with men and the choice of a life partner. All of these factors are decisive in a woman’s life.
Let's take a closer look at how the relationship with the father affects the fate of the daughter.
Let's start with the fact that the father is the first and most significant example of a man in his daughter's life. The responsibility is enormous. If only all fathers realized it...
The father’s image and the “father-daughter” relationship set many programs and attitudes for communication in childhood. adult woman with the opposite sex. It’s good if the settings and programs are correct and useful. And if not?
In the life of an older daughter, problems of various kinds may arise. Let's try to figure it out.
Suppose perfect option: complete family, parents take part together in raising their daughter, family relationships are harmonious, dad is wise and loving.
Of course, it can be difficult to understand fatherly love; it is different from motherly love. But even the restrained, not very emotionally charged love of the father is felt, perceived and absorbed by the daughter. A daughter for a loving father is a princess, this is his (and therefore) ideal female creation: the most beautiful, the most beloved, the most... in everything and always, this is his pride, this is the light of his soul.
In turn, fatherly love gives the girl a feeling of security, safety, self-confidence, and self-worth; develops femininity, attractiveness, relevance and success.
Near loving father the girl grows up realizing that she is worthy of the love of the opposite sex. When a daughter sees, feels and knows what is most significant man in life, the father loves and accepts her for who she is, the girl learns to love and accept herself, and, most importantly, learns to accept the love and attention of the opposite sex.
A father is the whole WORLD for a girl. And if this world loves and accepts her, is always ready to help and protect, then she is not afraid of anything. She goes out to adult life without fear, with the knowledge that everything will be fine, she will always find support and support, because the whole world is on her side.
A positive program learned in childhood will work throughout life for the benefit of an adult woman.
Such a woman will attract loving men who will become her support, support in life and will take constant care of her.
Another very important aspect of raising a girl is the attitude of the father towards the mother.
The girl needs to see that dad loves mom. Observing the love of a father for his mother, every child experiences a feeling of security, joy, happiness and harmony in the world. Any manifestation of dislike for the mother on the part of the father causes pain to the daughter, which, accumulating, can become an insurmountable wall in the relationship between father and daughter.
Dear fathers, it is very important in relation to mothers to show daughters how a man shows love and attention to a woman. This is how a girl develops a model of relationships between a man and a woman, which she will internalize for the rest of her life, like all other models of relationships in the family.
If “love and attention” in the family manifests itself in the form of dissatisfaction, nagging or rudeness, this lesson will also be learned: such a model of relationships will become natural for an older woman in the future.
Have you noticed that our entire conversation periodically returns to love. If a girl feels a deficiency or absence of her father’s love, she grows up unsure of herself, depressed, downtrodden, withdrawn or, on the contrary, openly aggressive, denies and suppresses the male essence.
How often do young and beautiful girl one has to convince that she is beautiful, smart, worthy of the love and attention of the opposite sex, while a completely outwardly inconspicuous girlfriend arouses interest among young people, communicates freely with them and does not have complexes about the shortcomings of her appearance.
A girl who felt a lack of fatherly attention and love in childhood grows up with a feeling of defenselessness, with fear of the huge world and the unpredictability of life. Everything comes to her with great personal effort, because she does not know how to ask for help, does not expect support and relies only on herself. Success in life is not easy. Personal life is also not easy.
Wariness and distrust of men often lead a woman to control her husband, suppress him, and take on male responsibilities. This is especially common in the case when a girl was raised only by her mother, who “carried all the hardships of life,” or when, although there was a father in the family, the mother always had to “plow” in her relationship with him.
It happens that a woman obsessively seeks the attention of the opposite sex, is available and not picky in relationships, and easily enters into relationships with men who show attention to her. She is looking for love and clings to everyone who gives her a compliment or a kind word.
Or, with her behavior, a woman always wants to prove how good she is and therefore worthy of love. And her whole life turns into a continuous desire to “please him” in anticipation of attention and love in return. Some women torment a man with a constant question: do you love me? Or: tell me you love me! Others suffer quietly and secretly cry out of disappointment.
It also happens that a woman is afraid of a relationship with a man, does not know how to build one, and avoids communicating with the opposite sex. She “focuses” on her career, sometimes completely abandoning her personal life and starting a family. Why does she need a man, the woman justifies herself, she is strong and can achieve everything herself.
There can be a lot of distortions in the life of a woman who grew up without fatherly love and attention. How many lives, so many unique experiences.
Many women, after reading this article, will say: well, what to do now? Childhood has already passed, life did not turn out the way I wanted, nothing can be fixed. Actually this is not true.
First, you need to put aside self-pity and regrets about your failed personal life. After all, for some reason, the life lessons learned were necessary.
Secondly, it is important to thank the past for the invaluable experience, forgive your father (after all, he fulfilled his main purpose - you were born), let go of all grievances, look with love at your inner child, understand, grow up and start working on yourself.
Changes in life will gradually begin to occur. It is very likely that your health will improve. It's no secret that one of the most common reasons Women's diseases are accumulated resentment towards men, which is based on problematic relationships with the father.
I believe that every father who reads this article to the end loves his daughter. However, it is difficult for men to express their feelings emotionally, because open emotionality is more characteristic of women and children.
Therefore, in conclusion, I want to somewhat summarize what was said above and give recommendations to fathers:
Remember, a daughter needs her father's love no less than her mother's. Your paternal example will determine how her adult relationships with men will develop, who she will choose as her husband, and, therefore, how her personal life will develop in connection with this.
Treat your daughter's mother with love. A daughter should see an example of love and respect between a man and a woman in the person of her parents. This sets the correct basic model for your daughter’s future relationships with men.
Show trust in your daughter, talk to her about her problems, show concern, be there at important moments in her life, know how to step aside, respect her choice.
Show warmth in your relationship with your daughter, hug, compliment, admire, give gifts, be sincere.
Avoid being overprotective of your daughter. With an excess of paternal love, a girl can develop a strong emotional dependence on her father, which causes no less harm than a lack of paternal love.
Show understanding and sincere interest in your daughter’s life, spend time together (visit the theater, go to exhibitions and concerts, organize parties; listen to the music she loves; be interested in what she is interested in; inspire her to develop and develop yourself).
Be strict when necessary, but always wise and fair. Punish with love, without anger, explaining your actions.
Never allow yourself to assault your daughter!
Respect your daughter's personality, even if she is still very young.
Be positive, develop a sense of humor.
Be a worthy male example in everything! Encourage femininity in your daughter. Remember, you are the most important man in the life of a small growing woman - your daughter. She looks at you intently and makes life decisions already in early age. Don't miss your daughter's childhood!
In the end, I hope you will deserve the highest reward - the love and gratitude of your daughter and, most importantly, you will see her happy woman in future. Good luck!
